remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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