I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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