Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Blood and glitter go together right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
