There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What drink are we having for lunch?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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