The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
