it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
