yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
