So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
