You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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