You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
