are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
