i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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