so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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