well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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