hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
