Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
