Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
