i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
