Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I need moral support for this bender
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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