can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
