and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize