Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
