tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
