Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
operation harelip BJ is a go
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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