ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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