Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
