fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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