You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sorry about my life...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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