remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
