I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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