Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
