Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did we literally take a cab across the street
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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