I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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