Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
