Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
