"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
