Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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