your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
