I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
