I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think i have herpe
just one?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
