You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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