I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
