drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
