she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just puked most of my soul out..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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