You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
