glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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