Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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