I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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