So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
