im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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