I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I want to make a zoo with you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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