I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
