It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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