i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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