oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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