let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
