Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
