i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
