You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
